How to sabotage your happiness in 5 easy steps

Have you ever noticed how everything you see is pointing out how much happier you could be? Have you noticed that social media seems to have 1001 ads offering you a new and improved way to be happier, thinner, richer or fitter or sexier or more powerful?

Have you noticed that not one of these ads, offers, classes, tips, tricks, hacks or webinars ever teaches you anything tangible...relatable, or usable without you first making some kind of purchase?

If you have said yes - or kinda, sometimes, or even maybe - then have I got news for you!!!

Oh yeah! I'm gonna share something with you that will change your life FOREVER...maybe. ( I really hope you read that in the Sham-Wow guy's voice!)

In order to truly glean all that you can from what I'm about to share with you, I will need your undivided attention for at least long enough to read through this.

STEP 1 - You have to keep what you don't like. You shouldn't send it back; nobody likes complainers.

Let's say life is like a diner. You go to the diner, you stay a while, and then you leave.

Maybe this is your first time at this diner, and you decide to order something you're familiar with... like a basket of fries. You order fries because they are pretty universal. Even if they have slight differences from place to place, you still know what you are getting into for the most part. So, now imagine your order of fries show up... and, um... YUCK. They've been overcooked in old fryer grease. You can't call them burnt, but they sure aren't what you were expecting. Even the taste, colour and smell are off. So you wave over the server, thinking you want to send your order back to the kitchen. But when they get there, you can tell they have had a rough day, and you don't wanna make it worse, so instead of asking for new fries... you ask for more ketchup. So, now you are suffering silently with grody fries and a bunch of ketchup to choke them down with. Not only are you likely to have a tummy ache.... you will probably feel bad because you kept something you didn't want. See, this, my dear, is a prime example of how you can screw yourself over by not advocating for your own happiness.

Sometimes, you may have to ask for more, rock the boat, stand up for yourself, or even just send the damn fries back. The trick is to do it in the most mindful way you can. Sometimes things that happen are out of everyone's control, it may not seem like it, but it is a simple cosmic law. Even when you know who is responsible, the highest form of practising unconditional kindness is to ask for what you need, but do so gently... even when you're tempted to rain down hellfire on a deserving participant in your discomfort.

Step 2 - SUCK IT UP PRINCESS - Sometimes you have to muscle through the fuckery that life throws at you. You have to greet the garbage life sprawls across your lawn with a stiff upper lip and a can-do attitude. But there are times when you need to be vulnerable. Times in your life where you need to slow down and ask for a little help. But, if you are reading this, chances are you aren't always so good at asking for help. You take what is served to you and "Suck it up" If you can relate to this, then I'm pretty sure you have been told to be tougher enough times that you learned to stop asking for help. I once read something that talked about refusing to ask for help is a "trauma."

Step 3. Keep your opinions to yourself - Nobody likes an opinionated big mouth! I mean, isn't life so much better when you keep your thoughts to yourself? I hope you can sense the sarcastic tone in my "voice." Here's the tits, my love - your opinion matters. Don't let anybody convince you otherwise. You wanna know why your thoughts count? Well, it's because they are a unique perspective on what may in ace be a shared experience. I ask for other people's opinions all the time because I know... I KNOW that I don't know everything! Your opinion on a matter if offered tactfully and thoughtfully, could go a long way to improve someone else's life. Just don't forget to educate yourself before offering your opinion. Because uneducated opinions have a nasty habit of morphing into excuses... which are a lot like assholes - they pretty much ALWAYS STINK!

Step 4. Stay RIGHT where you are! Nothing kills happiness more than inertia. Sometimes, for whatever reason, we resist change even if we know we need it. It's funny how you can convince yourself you are actually comfortable; you are just afraid. I'm not pointing this out to shame anyone; rather, I'm just sharing an observation. I've made this observation even in myself. There have been one or twelve times when I have stayed in super unhealthy relationships, dissatisfying jobs and even kept exceptionally shitty self "care' routines because I thought I was comfortable.... or safe. When in fact, I was just terrified of what I thought I might lose if I let go of my discomfort and embraced the potential that waited in an unknown future. The minute I abandoned my fear and leapt into the eye of the hurricane, I found the most vital component of the happiness that I was avoiding. Wanna know what that crucial, super-secret sauce is? It's faith! Faith that it's all gonna work out in my favour. If you can trust in yourself and the universe's desire to support you fiercely and unconditionally, then all you need to do is have faith!

5. WORK as HARD as you can, ALWAYS!! - Now, don't get it twisted. I'm not saying you should never rest or that you should forego life's pleasures, grind constantly, or become a workaholic. Not at all. What I am saying is to work at the capacity you are able. Some days I got all kinds of energy and fire. Some days you might need to test me for a pulse. Sometimes I'm inspired, and I move mountains. Other days I'd rather lick the window. What shocks me is that many people are surprised when I disclose that my success has never been contingent on working constantly. Instead, it has been about working CONSISTENTLY. That's what I mean when I say work as hard AS YOU CAN always. Some days you will be able to knock everything off your to-do list like it's your job, and then there will be all the other times when you won't. But if you maintain a consistent and persistent pace, you will find happiness.

So I guess if you have read this far then, you have figured out I don't really want you to sabotage your life. What I really want is for you to thrive. To meet your fullest potential - the highest expression of yourself. You can meet your potential and exceed your own expectations! Of this, I am confident!

All my love, dear Mystic!